Memo to President-Elect Obama Re: New Cabinet Post

Dear Mr. President-Elect:

I'm sure that you've heard - despite how busy you've been with things like the transition and trying to figure out how to save our faltering economy - that your issue of Amazing Spider-Man (#583, above) has been a runaway success, and that people were lining up at comics shops all over the country to get a copy of it to celebrate your inauguration.

We all know you're a comic book fan from way back, and that you collected Spider-Man and Conan comics as a kid, so I would like to propose a new cabinet-level post in your administration: Secretary of Comic Book Affairs, for which I humbly submit...myself. I was an ardent supporter of your candidacy, I'm something of an expert on the subject of comics, and perhaps most importantly, I'm between gigs, so I'm available to start immediately after what is sure to be a smooth confirmation hearing in the Senate. No Holder hardball or Geithner back-tax brouhaha here. Elliot Blake is squeaky clean.

So here's how it would work: every Wednesday (you and I and our fellow comic book devotees know it best as "New Comics Day"), right after your morning security briefing, I will provide you with a five-minute summary of the storylines of the week's comics, alerting you to your own appearances in books like Marvel's Thunderbolts #128 (here's a glimpse)...
...or Rob Liefeld's Youngblood #8:
I could also offer some useful counsel regarding these appearances, such as: "Look out for that Norman Osborn, sir! He's really a bad guy - one you've surely heard of as a Spider-Man fan - The Green Goblin!"; and, "We might want to limit your appearances in Rob Liefeld-drawn books, sir - there's a real possibility that you'll be rendered with tiny feet, excessively gritted teeth, and an overabundance of cross-hatching." Although, in fairness to Mr. Liefeld, I would also note that those complaints are practically cliché, and that he did a fine job drawing you from a photograph in the cover above. That's an example of how I would fit into your big-tent style of governance, by the way - I'm not much of Liefeld fan, but I am capable of pointing out decent work when I see it.

Secretary of Comic Book Affairs, sir. Potentially a very valuable post, and I hope you'll consider it. I await your call.

Best regards,

Elliot Blake